Lets Get One Thing Right

I feel compelled to write. Writing always seemed like a good outlet for me, but anyone who knows me, knows I love to talk. I can't shut up most of the time and what isn't filled with "i really love yous" and "gosh I am sorry" is probably some attempt to make the person laugh or smile. If its not one of those things, its determining how I can fix something, that is probably none of my business in the first place. I sometimes just can't help myself. Then when I am told no thanks, its a very rejecting feeling when it shouldn't be at all. Its a blessing and a curse tied up in a mini apple pie. I can hardly resist a mini apple pie people!

I say all this because I want to write more. Communication has always been a passion of mine, but when left feeling so inadequate by the brilliant people who do actually write and *ahem* get published, (that would not currently include moi) it can seem like a very intimidating place. Can I just get a prime time talk show instead? Fine, it doesn't have to be prime time. I am much better with voice inflections and fake accents.

I think the trick to being a great writer is kind of just faking it. Well or it could just be being confident in what you write and not so intensely worried if others have different views, or stalk you with negative feedback. Back off trolls, this is a safe space! A sweet friend of mine told me once I have a fear of commitment. I thought "what is she talking about? I am as loyal as it comes" but the more I thought about it, she was right. I don't like to make decisions much anymore. Weighing out each set of consequences and other peoples feelings and reactions and more consequences is a lot to think about.

I chatted with one of my best friends today and mentioned the theory "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have" that I am going to try and incorporate that in my life a little more, but with a twist.

*cues Fanfare music*

"Dress/Act/Embrace the life you want, not the one you have".

That is my new mantra.

So instead of wearing something half wrinkled and throwing my hair up in a mom bun, barely brushing my teeth before heading to work because I am sick with a cold, I dressed how I felt pretty, threw on a touch of makeup and wore some dangle earrings and before you knew it, I started to feel better. (yes teeth brushing and deodorant still happened) Was I technically still sick? Yes. Did I feel better though? I think yes. (The 6lbs I've lost thanks to this Fall Flu is who I really would like to thank for feeling a little better)

So I would like to just put it out there to the universe and anyone listening that I am working on looking for the positives, embracing the person I want to be, and not taking any booooooooska on the way.

This includes writing in this blog that I set up to write my overthoughts. The things I shouldn't think about but constantly do. Without fear or judgement or worry what someone might think. THE NAME OF THE SILLY THING IS CALLED ONCE UPON AN OVERTHOUGHT for crying out loud!

Okay, sorry for yelling.

Xoxo